Pahalgaon visit.

A place of unparalled beauty.

 A Whiff of Past

I was on my way to  Puri from Konark and  the car had suddenly developed  some engine problem.It came to a halt as I detected smoke coming out of the bonnet. I stopped the car and asked the driver to check.He found that the car had run out of coolant.There was no extra coolant  kept aside in the car either.

“What do we do now?” I asked the driver.

“We could take a lift .” he suggested.

We waited. Traffic was thin  on this stretch.It was late evening and day light was fast fading.

I asked the driver if he knew of any nearby places we could stay the night.

 “Ma’m I  have just come from Andhra and joined the travel agency …I have no idea of the place.”

Doubt crept into my mind. I asked him to call the travel agent. He began to dial the number and after some attempts said the call was not being attended.

“Let’s lock the car and walk ahead and see if we could get some road side eating joint or a petrol pump.” I checked my watch .It was nearing six in the evening.

“What is your name?”

“Satish , Ma’m.”

In the fading light, we saw some villagers coming our way. I  called them and explained our condition after much difficulty. They just told us to walk a little ahead on the same road and we would come across a tea shop. We walked on. Needless to say I was uncomfortable to be stuck in the middle of nowhere with an unknown man. My thoughts engulfed me and we walked as directed.

After nearly ten minutes we saw a flickering lamp in the distance and increased our pace to reach it.

We stood in front of a small tea shop. The owner  was ready to leave for his home after the day’s work. We asked for two cups of  tea and some biscuits. Grudgingly, he served .We then asked him as to where we could put up for the night.

He directed us to an old spacious   bungalow  type house and said the caretaker stays there. We should ask him if he could accommodate us.

I stood looking at the shut door. The house stood  a little secluded from the others but faced the beach. The window panes were broken ,the walls devoid of plaster at places the balcony railing missing…It did have a shabby look. But the house  had something attractive. It was the portico which drew  my attention. The pillars stood strong and solid .And some one had planted some creepers which now clung to its girth with blue and yellow flowers adorning the bricks . A white Scorpio was parked there and  the car did not look abandoned either. Some one had driven in. So there were people  around I thought to myself.The  house looked uninhabited though .I knocked on the door and tried to push the door open but to no  avail.

We called out in turns,

“Anyone there?”

After ten minutes of calling and searching  we  were ready  to walk back to our car, when we found some movement on the left side of the bungalow. A man was standing there with a torch in hand.

“Come this side.”He called.

“Are you the care taker?” I asked.

“No. I just drove in today.”

I quickly explained our condition…the car running out of coolant  and we getting stranded on the road .

He gestured us to come in. The left wing of the house looked habitable. We followed him.

“I have send the caretaker for some food.” he said.

“ We have arrived unexpectedly ,I know.” I said.

“It’s not a problem. We can all share.”

“No,no it  is fine. We just  had tea and we will manage. I have some peanuts and biscuits.”

He just laughed.

By this time we reached his room and he asked us to sit. The room had a very dim glow. Three oil lamps which were lit  and some candles accompanied the lamps to dispel the darkness. Our shadows criss crossed as we walked about to find a place to sit.

“Where has  the caretaker gone to get  the food?”

“He has his home nearby and he will be comimg soon. By the way I  am Arjun Mukherjee. I am on my way to Kolkata.I am in the media.”

I realised I had not introduced myself  all this while.

“I am Sanjana  Sen. I am with the IT sector.”

Curiosity got the better of me. I asked ,”Did you know about this place before?”

“Yes. I use it as my hideout to write my book.”

“In this desolate place you have creativity flowing through your pen?”

“That is the whole point….I do not want the disturbance.”

Satish was looking around  the place with the torch. He informed that there are three more rooms and that if the caretaker arrives soon he  would ask him to open them.

No sooner had he said this  I saw the caretaker coming.He was surprised to see us. He looked at Mukherjee, askance in his eyes.

“Ramdin  ,we have guests .Have we got enough food for all?”

I started to protest and say we actually do not need food. But Ramdin simply said,

“We can manage.How many rooms do you need?”

“Two will do.”

“The charges will be rupees  three hundred with morning tea and food.”

I agreed.

Satish went along with Ramdin to look into the rooms. And I helped Mukherjee with the distribution of food. Somehow food has a way of reminding one how hungry one can be. Simple home made food  always had a way of bringing back memories.

I was suddenly taken way down the memory lane….it all felt so familiar.

Satish in the meanwhile was satisfied  with his inspection and  reported back to me with the air  of a trained butler ,

“Ma’m ,the rooms are fine. You can take the one after Sir’s room while I will go down the corridor and take the corner room .

I agreed.

We quickly finished food and found that somehow, we all had enough to eat.

Satish retired immediately after dinner and Ramdin  too left , informing he will be back at eight with the tea. It was nine thirty at night. The darkness around was eerie but somehow I did not mind it. Ramdin had  refilled the lamps and we sat facing each other talking.

“How do you write in this light?”

“I actually manage quite well with three or four lamps .Moreover it gives a  sense of suspense and thrill writing like this in the dark.”

I could not  resist asking, “Do  you write ghost stories? You believe in ghosts?”

“No I do not believe in spirits …but I do write ghost stories too.”

“What are you writing at present?”

“That’s a surprise! ”

“Tell me the backdrop of the story.”

“OK, I will give you a photograph .See it.”

He got up and from amongst his papers ,he took out  an old black and white picture and showed it to me.

“ Who is this?” I asked looking at him. I still had not seen the photograph.

“A girl I knew when she was about twelve or thirteen.”

“Aha! romantic novel?” The photograph was in my hand. Now I looked at it.

My heart skipped  a beat….I looked at it hard.

He came closer to me with the torch .The light shone on it.I looked up to him and  asked ,

“Who is she?”

“A long story….I took that picture years back when she had come visiting Shillong with her family.”

“Which year?”

“It was early seventies”

“And then?”

“Well, it is her as the central  character and then my story goes on.”

“Why choose her?” I continued,

 “Are you writing about how this girl grows up and  all about her life? You know her personally?”

“No , we have never met after , she left with her family. We never communicated. I did write to her but she never replied back.”

“So tell me your story?”

He looked at me quite intently and then smiled.

“You fell in love with her?” I was curious.

“I hardly knew her to fall in love with her….But there was some kind of attraction initially. I had spent two days with her before they left Shillong.”

“ And what happened in those two days?”

“ Madam, you are asking about my personal life.”

“ Sorry.I am really sorry…Actually I was  talking about your character in your story.”

“ I will share with you though because it’s a part of my story too.”

“ In those two days , we went  to the Shillong lake and fed the fish there. WE visited the Shillong  peak and the Elephant falls too.”

“And then?”

“I showed her around  the place generally . Actually we had a part of our house rented out as a guest house. It was called  “Sweet Home” Their family had booked it and  we, that is, my sister and me we were acting as guides to their family. We had vacations at that time and so we decided to take part in this activity.”

“And then?”

“ On the day they were leaving I mustered enough courage to write a note to her about my feelings. She never answered.”

I let him continue.

After they left ,this eighteen year old then, felt a certain change within myself. I felt as if something was not right. I perhaps was missing her…the exuberance and energy she reflected , left a deep impact on my mind. I needed to  be with her I felt. I was drawn to her.”

“ Unfulfilled love,eh?”

“ I do not know if its love but years later when she wrote a note to our Shillong home, I came to know she wanted to visit Shillong once again. But then I was studying in States and I wrote back to her saying I was in States.” He continued after a long pause.I was intently watching his expression.There was something distant and deep in his face.

“She never answered inspite of my writing to her repeatedly. After I  returned from States,  I had to sell off our property in Shillong and settle in Delhi.”

“So you lost her forever,”

“No. One does not lose such persons or moments in life. They remain within you, as a part of your reminiscences and nostalgia…..Misty in thoughts and and yet so close to your heart. The mental connect is enough to experience the strength of such relationships.”

“What was her name?”

“She  shares your name.”

“What a coincidence!”

I looked at the photograph once more. The girl stared at me from the picture. She was in a pleated skirt and blouse. Her  short curls reached the nape of her neck. She was sitting on the stairs ,chin on hand and smiling without a care in the world. A glint of that smile touched her eyes and there was a deep dimple on her left cheek.

A magic had been created at that moment….I smiled at the photograph and  he looked at me .I caught him staring .

“You have the glint of your smile in your eyes.”

“Really! Now you are imagining things.”

He looked down embarrassed.

We sat lost in our thoughts for a while. Life has a way of coming full circle. I knew my life was a wreck after the divorce. The importance of  relationship never made sense to my  ex- husband. I kept seeking the meaning of relationship constantly… and here was I sitting in front of a man who in his own way found that meaning.

“The girl must be very lucky  to be in your thoughts the way she is. She lives in you and that is what  relationship is all about, I guess.” I said. He had got up by now.

“You sleep here today. That room has no light. I will see what can be done to your car tomorrow. I could drive you to the nearest petrol pump on the highway. We will get coolant there.”

I nodded my head…I felt a strange closeness to him…There was magic in the air I wanted to hold on  to it….  Elusive  as moments are, I saw it slipping by. My eyes followed him.

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was  running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven..."

At the count of three the door shut and with that I locked away another secret in my mind.

I   looked at my own adolescence once more reflected in the photo…happy memories made my eyes  glint. I waited for dawn to arrive…